I have neglected this blog for so long, and it pains me to not be as consistent as what I’ve intended. For over 3 years, this blog has been my personal creative outlet. I’ve made a few connections, and this blog helped land me a few freelance positions including a contributing role at Elite Daily. Wow, writing that all of a sudden gave me a nostalgic perception of this blog already.
I created a new site called MentalSuite. It will focus primarily on psychological health with an inspirational twist. With a psychology background and a keen interest in the subject, I want to share to the world my personal take. I will describe the cool quirks of how the human brain works and touch on real life examples of individuals who managed their way out of hardships. Generally speaking, you can call it a “self-help” blog, but without the cheesy “positivity” BS.
Of all the years of blogging, I struggled to find a niche. This whole time I have just been upfront and very open with my personal life. I have had a personal blog for over 15 years, stemming back from the Xanga days to Blogspot, and now, WordPress. In total, I must have had over 6 different personal blog accounts. I did not mind talking about my personal life, but as far as seriously considering becoming a successful blogger, a niche is necessary.
MentalSuite has a niche – a relatively broad niche with a subject matter that is still new, and quite untouched. I have a very clear vision of what I want to take out of it. This time, I cannot make any more excuses to place it on the back burner. I’ve done that one too many times already with my personal blogs. That will now be my new business. Let’s cross our fingers and hope it will be a success.
PS: I may not be gone forever. I still need a personal outlet. 🙂
Tomorrow is the half marathon. Just last week, I hesitantly decided to participate in it. Amid not having worked out in the last several months, I’m surprised my stamina is still maintained (I jogged hardcore in the last 2 weeks). According to my FitBit, I run an average of 10 minutes per mile, which I think is pretty decent. I could do better, but considering the fact that I haven’t jogged consistently, I can’t really complain. I got to enjoy this young body before it wears off!
The reason why I decided to run in this marathon goes far beyond “just wanting to run in a marathon.” It’s not just a physical act of training, sweat and endurance. The marathon itself is symbolic in that it is a goal. It is a goal that I can look back on and be proud of…for myself. No one can take it away from me. Even if one takes my medal, which is nothing but a tangible item, I still know in my heart that I have completed a race that takes an incredible amount of hard work and determination.
One of my bucket list goals was to complete a full marathon – that was from last year, and I’m disappointed I have not fulfilled that. I’ve made countless excuses not to run: I am not in shape, I have no time, I am not in the mood. If I had the willingness to BE in shape, to MAKE the time, and to PUSH myself to complete that bucket list item, then the outcome would’ve been totally different. Today, I do not want to make anymore excuses. I am done doing myself a disservice. I want to love myself and make myself proud.
Setting forth goals for myself helps propel me forward. I start off with what is feasible and timely. The marathon is a great example in this because I know I will complete it under the time limit and it’s literally tomorrow. This goal will be a stepping stone toward several other goals I have in my life. The ultimate one: publish a book.
When I fulfill a specific goal, small or large, this will generate momentum and motivation to work on the next goal and so forth. I can no longer make excuses. No more holding it off for tomorrow. I can’t afford to waste time anymore. The time is always in the present. When I consistently tell myself to wait it out, I fall into the trap of laziness. However, when I keep myself diligent in aiming forward, I have maintained a habit of a successful and fulfilling life.
During this vacation drought, I have endured a slew of failed Tinder dates, with the most recent temporarily causing me to lose my sanity. After dating guys on autopilot, this last one really gave me a wake-up call: I don’t think any guy can be trusted.He played me so well, even the smartest girl wouldn’t detect the slightest hint of his hidden agenda. That was the last straw. My attempts to apply everything I learned in the past are useless.
I have decided on a completely different approach: Tinder like there’s no tomorrow.
I took a week off from work to take a breather away from the constraints real life is known to give. My body had to physically be in a completely different geographic location to unwind the petty trauma my heart recently faced. Upon my boss’ approval, I immediately sifted through cheap round-trip plane tickets that will take me to a land far, far away from my lackluster city of Dallas. Who intentionally travels to Dallas, by the way?
It was a toss-up between Seattle or Boston. Boston was cheaper.
I didn’t plan, nor did I do my research of the city, aside from making reservations to a hostel. I just wanted to be there.
As soon as my plane landed, I did the unthinkable: I re-downloaded my Tinder app, which has been deleted since the start of a budding relationship, which eventually failed. It was my first time to ever use Tinder out of town, and I was excited to see what this novel experience could bring. I had nothing to lose. With my history of getting easily attached and heartbroken too easily, Tinder traveling would help me loosen up and have the time of my life with no strings attached. Tinder dating across the country would give me no reason to get upset after not hearing back from the guy.
During my four-day vacation, my role as a Tinder user switched from female to male. I began to right-swipe erratically, getting the most matches as I can in the limited time I had in the city. Being a girl, it wasn’t very hard to find a match. I was a little astonished, to say the least, at the percentage of well-educated users on the app living in Boston. I bet that city has a higher per capita of Ivy League grads than anywhere else in the country. Education is a priority for my potential dates. Why would I invest my time and energy on someone with a hollow brain? I should just move there since I like to surround myself with smart people.
I edited my profile to say “Hey, I’m in Boston for only 4 days! Let’s meet up! :)” I’ve come across some very intelligent individuals. In my limited time span, there was no room to be too picky, or engage in pointless conversation prior to the first meet. By the way, 100% of my previous encounters on Tinder were pretty useless in the end. As far as meeting the guys in Boston, it may be the first and last time I’ll ever see them, unfortunately, but I’m already resigned to the expectation I will never hear back. After all, I’m the one going back home, so there’s no reason for me to be hurt after becoming a victim of ghosting.
So, the guys:
Chris is a 31 year old Cornell alum, now working as an attorney.
Warren is 34 – currently in medical school.
Greg* is 33 – Graduated from Dartmouth, worked for the White House, went bowling at the White House, travels first class on almost every international flight, and now works for the government. This one really stuck out and is who I became Facebook friends with – name is changed.
At the very least, my experience with each of them was great. What’s so great about Tinder dating out of town is that you get to have your own personalized tour of the city. It sure beats the generic tours. We walked aimlessly around town while they pointed out specific areas with a brief history – if this was a tourist-driven tour guide, I’d be half asleep. I went to Harpoon Brewery, which is, according to Warren, the place to go by non-tourists. Before heading to Boston, I made it a priority to at least try the clam chower, or shall I say, chowda? Greg was okay spontaneously meeting me the very night before my early morning flight – I just wanted chowda!
In my experience, traveling is truly the #1 cure for heartbreaks – Tinder traveling helps makes moving on much easier. I will point out that sex in my recent Boston experience was in no way involved. If that’s your thing, then go for it! Traveling out of spontaneity doesn’t necessarily have to happen following a relationship meltdown – it can be used as just a general refresher. Physically placing your body in a new geographic location (traveling) is really healthy for you. I will sure to try it again on my next solo-trip. There are so many wonderful people you can meet in the world, and because I’m happily single, there’s nothing holding me back.
At this very moment, as I’m typing away this post, I am at one of my high points in life. Things are going well – a budding relationship (maybe), a promotion, making it on the front page of Yelp, and a blog based in New York emailed me requesting I join their contributor team – all this happened within the last 2 days.
It feels like I have a steady surge of serotonin flowing between my neurons right now; the feeling is awesome – best yet, no drugs were involved. Hooray, for natural happiness!
There really is no equation for this level of happiness. Some of it is luck with a mixture of hard work and dedication – omit the romance part, as it’s kind of an extraneous, yet pending, contribution to how I’m feeling right now.
I wanted to make a quick update documenting my rare emotional peak. Normally I don’t ever write a lot when something good happens; I do vice versa. If you were to skim through the rest of my blog, you’d instantaneously perceive me to be a very depressed individual, with nothing good to say. Writing about sadness is almost like a puzzle – trying to find the right words to craft a beautifully complex emotion. I always think of this puzzle as an emotionally challenging game. It stimulates the mind, and when the finished product is moments away from the”Publish” button, I get this quick sense of accomplishment, even when it’s going to depress someone reading it – sorry.
On the other hand, writing about happiness doesn’t have the same effect. I always feel too self-inflated elaborating of all the good things happening to me, so I’ll talk about one of the things that made me happy today:
I have been Yelp Elite for over 5 years now – it’s a great group to be a part of. As a member, I get invited to clubs, events, restaurant openings, games, etc. – all for free. Not exactly sure if there’s a tough criteria to reach to make it to the club, since I know a few Yelp Elites, who shall not be named, write terribly – errors in syntax, punctuation, run-on sentences, misspellings…it’s a grammar Nazi’s nightmare. Regardless of that, I do pride myself with the Elite status and making it to the “Review of the Day” section from time to time. I woke up this morning when one of my Yelp friends congratulated me for making it on the front page. This recognition does nothing, but reinforces my motivation to write more.
Below is a picture during one of the Elite events at Community Beer Co. about a year ago. I met my Yelp twin!
After attending the prayer vigil in downtown Dallas, an impromptu event following the deadly shootout of 5 police officers, I was reminded of my deep-rooted passions: journalism. I’ve never been in a place that was heavily concentrated with news reporters, journalists, photo-journalists, camera crew and anything involved with the press. I tried to relish the present moment, as I was witnessing a day in the life of a reporter.
Real-life, whatever that may be, has altered the direction I wanted to follow. Just excuses; partly because of the impracticality of the field. Not only that, Naysayers kept on discouraging me. It’s too competitive…Well, good luck with that…You’ll be struggling to earn a living. I listened. And now I’m in shambles – not really. I just wish I’d be doing something I’m ultimately passionate about, regardless of the anticipated pitfalls involved.
The reason why I wanted to participate in the vigil is to only document the event. It literally was a block away from my building, so I may well be present. I wasn’t there to focus on the main subject – I was there to capture the emotions on people’s faces, the intensity, and humanity at its low point. I find a lot of beauty in sadness. I even wanted to take photos of the camera crew and reporters just because the sight of them seemed pretty cool, as I’ve never been in an event heavily involved with the press. I wasn’t emotionally engaged with what was actually going on — I think this is a trait required of all journalists. Your job is to get a story across. Period.
Later that afternoon, I had a wake-up call that really encouraged, and reminded me, to actively pursue my passions again – CNN discovered a photo I posted on Instagram and wants to use it on all their media platforms and affiliates. I had a paralyzed expression of awe on my face for the 24 hours that followed. The photo was of a civilian shaking hands with a cop. Who would have known that just a few taps on my iPhone screen would make a big impression.
How’s everyone’s New Year’s Resolutions going so far? Did you give up your diet yet?
I’ve always wondered why people wait until the end of the year to make resolutions. It’s not like we’re limited to a short time period dedicated to reinvent ourselves and make resolutions for the upcoming new year. In my ancient blog (which is abandoned now) I did remember writing about the same topic. My point is, why can’t we just use any random date of any given year as a point of reference for a new year?
I think we should always strive to better ourselves, no matter what time of year, and engage in a lot of self-reflection and meditation. I think it’s a really healthy practice, as it puts us in the present and makes us more conscious of our surroundings. Since I was 12, I’ve regularly updated in my handwritten journal and blog. With this consistency, I was very much in tune with my emotions. Writing was almost like meditation. Since I’m a fully grown adult now (at least I hope I am), writing has been a challenge to fit into my schedule. I don’t want to publish anything, unless I know it’s good. And in order to write quality content, it takes time. I need to sit in a room, stare at a wall for an X amount of embarrassing long minutes (maybe hours…) to let my ideas flow coherently. This is how serious I am about writing, and also why I’ve been absent for long periods of time.
I haven’t been consistent in my writing, but I am trying. Not just to enlighten my readers, but for myself, as well. So, what’s my resolution? Write more!
Today, I made a non-regrettable splurge at Barnes & Noble and purchased a Moleskine journal. I love it dearly! Most people think it’s just an expensive journal, but it’s super high quality — similar to that of a book. For me, if I’m spending over $20 for a journal, I’m going to take much better care of it, as opposed to a $1 notebook you can get at Wally World. It writes smoothly and helps keep me on track and inspired. I’ve so far been reading “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg (speaking of which), and been writing notes on my journal about that. I highly recommend the book!
As we were young, we were always asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” From what I could recall, I really didn’t know what the hell I wanted to be. My answer would be something generic like doctor, teacher, or [fill in seemingly cool job here]. It is a simple question with complex answers. There’s so many possibilities. I was aware I was young, and I didn’t want to worry about how to answer that when it really mattered.
Flash forward 2 decades and a million different jobs later, I’m left feeling a strong sense of inadequacy and aimlessness. I’m 26 years old without a career, let alone financial security. I mean, I’ve had a few full time jobs here and there, but it was definitely not what I was passionate about. Every time I was constrained to a desk under fluorescent light for 8 hours a day, I could sense my creative soul dying in slow motion. I was depressed. It was always when I worked these god-forsaken 9-5 jobs that I was at my low point.
Every time I was constrained to a desk under fluorescent light for 8 hours a day, I could sense my creative soul dying in slow motion.
When I lost my most recent full time job, it was a blessing in disguise. It freed me from the drone that I was for the past 9 months. The consistent income was no longer there, but I am at least not entitled to robot-mode the same time, everyday, Monday through Friday.
I was able to catch up on where I left on in my goals to be a writer. Whether or not I get published or capitalize in a winner-take-all market, I will still do it because it is what I am genuinely passionate about. I am intrinsically motivated to share my stories. I’m not here to shove my stories in everyone’s faces (although it be nice to have an audience). I make it my goal to inspire others, and to just be a part of a community online.
If you’re a full-grown adult right now, are you currently living the person you wanted to be when you grow up? Are you satisfied with your life right now, or do you wish you’d be in a better place than where you are now?